Wunderkind Scores 100% on First Test— before Birth!

(Toronto) On April 10th, 2002, in a stunning display of pure genius, fetal Baby McIsaac scored 8 out of a possible eight points in his/her first ultrasound exam. The Biophysical Profile, as it’s called, awards 2 full points in 4 different categories: AFV (amniotic fluid volume), Fetal movements (gross movements), Respiratory Movements (breathing), and Fetal Tone.

“Baby Passes First Test with 100%”
As demonstrated on the diagram (left) fetal Baby McIsaac scored perfect points in all areas. Also of note are the unmistakably life-like pencil illustrations of the placental and fetal positions, the age of the baby (40 weeks, 6 days), and it’s phenominal weight of 4549g (which equals 10.03lbs).

Fetus Magazine

Pastels, $5,000 mohair girraffes, and a million baby GAP ads aside, Marth Stewart baby is a fantastic magazine. The art direction is clean and fresh, the photography is soft and warm, and there are some great ideas– like cutting up old t-shirts to make baby hats.

“Step aside Martha, there’s a new kid in town!”

Since D. and I have baby on the brain, I decided to take our best photograph of OUR yet-to-be and create my own magazine. Look for it to hit the newsstands any day now…

Angel Wings on Fingernails

Some weeks ago, a white, symetrical pair of wings appeared at the base of my ‘baby’ fingernail. This strange tattoo, this irregular mineral deposit, felt imbued with inexplicable mysticism. They were angel wings, i thought, bearing great news. A downy cherubic clock, a countdown to my first baby’s birth.

“Angel Wings on Fingernails”

I catalogued the ascending progression of the Mark from about 30 weeks into the pregnancy. There are roughly 2.5 weeks before Baby is due, and look how close the wings have come to the tip of the nail! It is my prediction, and call me crazy, that the moment the wings crest, touch the white surface, D. will go into labour. I’ll keep you posted.