I love self help books. They are filled with strange human systems and ideas. I also hate them. There is usually a small seed of an idea that is broken down and then blown out over hundreds of pages. More often than not, the author could have explained everything you needed to know in a small brochure. Here are some of my self-help book ideas. Please send me your fake book cover illustrations if you feel inspired (see below):

Note: This list was created using the patented 10 Ideas In Ten Minutes™ creative method. (You can read about it in my Creative Method and Systems presentation, slide 97)

1. Don’t Be A Clippy - How to help people without becoming really, really annoying
2. The Third Place - Working from Starbucks and other stories of caffeinated entrepreneurship
3. The Holy Bible (Star Wars Edition featuring the NEW! Book of Jedi)
4. [Update Available] – Living with perpetual iterations of self, society, and socialmedia
5. The Off Button – When to turn off, tone down, and go out
6. Living in Your Car for Fun and Profit!
7. WTF is Wednesday Thursday Friday? – Web acronyms made easy
8. The Porno Diet – Master weight problems by thinking about sex
9. It’s All About You – The world’s first personalized print-on-demand non-fiction best-seller (featuring everything we could dig up on you and your friends through social media websites)
10. 15 Minute Warning – How the desire for instant fame is creating a generation of disillusionment

Email me your fake book covers for these fake books and I will publish my favourites here later.

Posted via email from Jason Theodor’s Creative Method and Systems Channel

But certain objects have been stable for so long that seeing them suddenly get sucked into this vortex of change is disconcerting. Take the age-old light bulb for example: it has been around since the late 1800s. It’s iconic bulbous pear shape has been used to represent everything from light and electricity to ideas and insight. It is sad to watch it’s inevitable eradication as the compact fluorescent moves in like an heroic invading army, sporting it’s energy efficient soft-serve swirl-shaped tubes.

In homage to the dimming of the incandescent, here are some Ideas On Light Bulbs to stick in your socket:

1. A Greener System Preferences
   Recently, I upgraded my MacBook Pro to OS X 10.5.7. I went to change my Screen Saver settings when I noticed that the Energy Saver icon was no longer the old incandescent light bulb (see below) …
   
   … but rather a new compact fluorescent light(see below again). I’m actually surprised Apple didn’t do this sooner.
2. Wikipedia Plays Favourites
   Wikipedia tries not to play favourites, but the incandescent bulb has a much bigger picture in its article as opposed to the CFL. The former was invented in the early 1800s, with 22 different inventors lined up to take credit before Edison got involved. Obviously he was a much better marketer than the rest. The modern CFL was invented in 1976 by a GE engineer with the amazing name of Ed Hammer (who just happens to do his own podcasts). The company patented the invention and shelved it, thinking CFLs would be too expensive to manufacture.
3. Light Bulb Jokes for Dimwits
   Not too many inventions have spawned an entire industry of bad jokes. “How many ‘blanks’ does it take to screw in a light bulb?” is almost as prevalent as “A ‘blank’ and a ‘blank’ walk into a bar…” My personal favourite:

   How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One— but it has to want to change.

   The CFL doesn’t have a great humourous legacy yet. The only joke I could find was political in nature, and directed at conservative radio talk-show hosts, which is a pretty easy target.

4. The EUREKA Moment is Obscured
   The familiar icon of the light bulb going off above someone’s head will eventually seem as quaint and distant a memory as the phonograph. It first appeared in Felix the Cat cartoons in the 1920s, and has continued to this day. TV Tropes has a long list of Idea Bulbs including parodies and alterations. Here is a 1935 Betty Boop variation where Grampy, at the 4:00 mark, puts on a thinking cap and the bulb is lit when he comes up with a brilliant plan to make music.
   
5. A Soft Serving of Bulb Art
   The strange newness of the CFL has inspired artists to create work that mocks the new form or honours the old.
   
   Mixco’s Whippy

   
   Felix Stark’s Bulb 2.0

6. In Plain English

Lee LeFever compares the old light bulbs with the gradual extinction of the Video Cassette Recorder (VCR).


7. Bulb?
   Some words, like ‘record album’ lose their original meaning. Eventually people will ask where the word ‘bulb’ came from. They won’t remember the pear-shaped glass with the springy glowing element inside. All their lights will be made from twisted fluorescent tubes. Light ‘tube’ or light ‘coil’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it
8. Clip-On Lampshade Is Off
   If you have a company that still makes things out of metal wire, you might want to read the writing on the factory wall. Pipe cleaners have become preschool-art fodder, metal hangers have given way to plastic, paper clip use is in decline (you don’t even need one to remove the SIM card from your iPhone because Apple ships it’s own ‘iPhone Tool’)… and now the poor bulb-clip is doomed. It used to be you could just clip a modified lampshade to any old bulb in the house, but not so with the new CFLs. Oh, sure, some desperate designers have tried to create bulbous plastic covers for the compact fluorescents, but they squish and pop like the cheap plastic they are. I wouldn’t trust a fancy hanging bulb-clip to one of those. Would you?
9. Photographic Foreshadowing
   It appears as though photographers have been prophesying the death of the incandescent for years already.
   
   flickr photo by km6xo
   
   photo by Harold ‘Doc’ Edgerton
   

10. Ideas On
    And as light bulbs and other technologies evolve, so do ideas. I love to experiment with 10 Ideas in 10 Minutes, but it’s time for something new. Ideas On is my new project x, something I’ll be working on during the coming months. I designed this fancy red logo for it, as I like to focus on a concrete design while I’m working out the details. I’ll give you a hint: it’s about those old EUREKA moments realized in a modern context. As soon as I figure out what that means I’ll let you know.

For the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, DreamWorks has commissioned a promotional website where you can transform yourself into Optimus Prime. The facial recognition and tracking works surprisingly well, and is fun to play around with for a laugh. If you click on the spinning autobot icon, Bumblebee will fly onto your printed AR marker and show you a new trailer.

This 3D modeling looks a lot better than the Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000 graphics (see above left). The lighting and detail create a ‘closer to reality’ feeling than a lot of other AR wraps. This is due to the bright lighting from the front, as though the robot is lit from your computer screen. The tracking works way better than on the Nintendo DSi (see above right), which has a very hard time finding and resizing in real time. Once I had the ActiveX plugin loaded, the Optimus mask stayed with me (and on me) and rarely lagged.

This use of AR+facial tracking works to create buzz before a movie premier, but let’s take a quick 10 in 10™ to imagine how this technology could be used for other purposes:

1. Costume websites let you try on masks before going to the store to buy/rent them.
2. Cosmetics companies let’s you ‘paint’ your face with blush, rouge, eye shadow.
3. Frame manufacturers give you different styles of glasses to model.
4. H&M let’s you try on hats.
5. An online ad for domestic abuse could show you a live picture of yourself with a black eye and a disturbing caption (no time to write it now).
6. A plastic surgeon specializing in rhinoplasty could let you test noses. But they’d have to be bigger than the original to fit over your real nose, so never mind.
7. You could play a ‘stare down’ game to see how long you could stare at the screen without blinking
8. In a similar vein, you could be challenged to a game of ‘serious’ where you’re not allowed to laugh. The computer would show you funny pictures and scenes, and read your expression. If you smile you lose the game.
9. Bedtime stories: you could do skits of famous fairy-tales over a webcam. Imagine mom or dad is away on business and can freak out their kids by turning into the big bad wolf. Okay, scratch that one too.
10. Trying on different hair styles and colours would also be cool: an AR salon.

And my ten minutes are up. Can you think of any more? Leave them in the comments.

A co-worker disappears into the bathroom, yet their Facebook wall magically updates. A friend tells you she can’t make it to your party because she’s not feeling well, yet her Twitter post raves about the new sushi restaurant downtown. It’s getting harder and harder to tell lies, even little white lies, when you are ‘lifecasting’. It’s also getting a lot harder to hide. People are TXTing from their mobile phones from just about every mobile location. They are telling everyone exactly what they are doing. But are they really?

Employing the 10 Ideas in 10 Minutes technique, I came up with ten things to consider (or conversely block from your mind) when you receive a text message (or IM, or Tweet).

1. Is this person driving a car? “Don’t Text and Drive!” will be the slogan for the next generation.
2. Is this person crossing the street? If so, they’re about to get hit by the texter from #1.
3. Is this person operating heavy machinery? I saw a road worker texting with one dirty, gloved hand through a clear plastic bag (to keep his phone clean). With his other hand he was distractedly pushing a giant, wet, screaming radial saw into hard concrete. We’ll see how long he has two hands.
4. Is this person standing at a urinal, or sitting on a toilet seat? It’s not like the bathroom germs can be transported via satellite, but it’s still a bit too intimate and disturbing. I suppose it’s still more polite than talking on the phone, which I’ve witnessed in a few men’s bathrooms.
5. Is this person drunk? Look for an increase in miss-spellings, as well as odd confessions , extra X’s and O’s, and <3′s.
6. Is this person high? Look for sentences that aren’t completed, words replaced by numbers, and strange shortened versions of common words.
7. Is this person getting lucky? If they are sexting you, that’s okay. But if they are conversing with you digitally while having sex with someone else, well that’s just wrong.
8. Is this person eating? Don’t text with your mouth full.
9. Is this person in a completely different emotional state than they are projecting? How tragic to be sending out little :-) when there might be tears streaming down his or her face.
10. Is this person standing somewhere nearby, watching you? Does that sound creepy? Because that’s what people used to do before mobile phones: stand near each other, look at each other, and talk out loud.

Act Like You’re Famous
How would a famous person approach socializing, commuting, chores, etc?

1. When you go out in frumpy clothes you can pretend you are hiding from the paparazzi.
2. Expect good service. If you were famous, you’d expect it naturally. But everyone should expect it.
3. Wear dark glasses when you leave the house and don’t take them off. Ever.
4. Pretend your maid or nanny is sick and you are just ‘slumming it’ with the kids/pets.
5. Act like your friends are really your ‘assistants’. Try asking them to carry things, take notes, or cut your food.
6. Be important. Not an ass, but important. Talk to everybody politely. Talk to everyone like they work for you.
7. Find things to be ‘quirky’ about— for instance maybe on Wednesdays you only eat food that is blue.
8. Blurt out catch phrases like, “That’s so wizard” and give people knowing looks as if to say, “I started that meme.”
   
9. Hide your face behind your hand, newspapers, etc whenever mobs of people go by. Especially young, good-looking people.
10. Name drop in casual conversation. Say things like, “Jordan doesn’t like this kind of fish.” When people ask who Jordan is, say, “You know. Jordan.”

Feel Like You’re Rich
How would an independently wealthy person approach career, hobbies, relationships, and relaxation?

1. Spend more time doing what you love to do. Is that so difficult?
2. Stop worrying about your job. Pretend you do it because you love it, not because you are obligated.
3. Don’t spend time worrying about your possessions. Pretend you can replace anything. Besides, you can’t take it with you.
4. Say rich things like, “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you things that make you happy.”
5. Say rich things like, “If you have to look at the price, you can’t afford it.”
6. Wear a cheap suit because it’s ‘ironic’.
7. Write a will where you leave $50,000,000 to your cat.
8. Instead of being envious of people with luxury items like expensive cars or watches, practice feeling pity. Pretend you have exclusive, custom made, hand-crafted items that cannot be bought, and won’t exist for others until they go to auction after your death.
9. Tell people that they are looking at the world’s first future trillionaire. Tell them that your accountant needs an accountant. Tell them that it costs you thirty-thousand, nine-hundred ninty-nine dollars and ninty-nine cents just to stoop down and pick up a penny.
10. Buy stock— even if it’s just one stock. Then you can say you ‘own’ microsoft or apple or ibm. And it’ll be true!

If you take on some of these characteristics in your day-to-day life it does a few things: it injects some humour, it causes you to relax a bit, and it reminds you that so much of what we experience is a matter of perpective. Regardless of what materials you possess or who people percieve you to be, you can alter how you look at your own life. I’m not condoning delusion, but I am giving you permission to use your imagination again. When we were kids we pretended to be all the things we wanted to be. Why did we stop?

Happy Birthday Dad!

1. Glassman – He can walk on glass, walk through glass, absorb glass and form objects with/of glass.

2. The Frog – He has the strength of 50 men, but the body (and accompanying size) of a 5-inch amphibian. At least he can walk upright.

3. The Statesman – This physics genius and former sidekick to Doc Hawk, can change his physical state at will to become a liquid, a gas, or even plasma. He can control his form in all states, but has a harder time controlling his emotions as he spreads himself ‘too thin’.

4. Doc Hawk – A mild-mannered author, quantum physicist, and wheelchair-bound ALS sufferer by day — a rogue mech-warrior with a penchant for projectiles by night.

Doc Hawk (image via the Onion)

5. Silk -Hair stronger than steel cables, this night-loving villian finds many uses for her long, uncuttable locks. Think body armour, satelite receiver, etc.

6. Captain Breakdown – One of many popular Enviro-villians, Captain Breakdown can cause practically anything to decompose, including stainless steel! If his powers were turned to good, he could help the planet Earth solve the plastic crisis.

7. Mr. Wax – Look out Madam Toussaud, because there’s a new wax master in town! Mr. Wax can change the shape of his face to (almost) match anyone he has seen. His achilles heel is the inability to animate his face during mimicry. Works great when impersonating dead or sleeping people.

8. Faxx – Faxx has the unique ability to send copies of herself across various data channels, including cable and satelite. The one drawback is speed. At current broadband rates, even at 500Mb/s she can take a few hours to upload. Faxx has been known to keep a copy of herself in her own Gmail account.

9. Twitch – Twitch can move small parts of her body at supersonic speeds for short bursts. Think concentrated seismic activity in the palm of her hand. She can create stress cracks, move heavy objects short distances, make a lot of noise, and of course shake down villians.

10. Insomnimaniac – A hyper, slightly crazed hero, who can create dream states in waking minds. The victims believe they are lucid dreaming and suffer from illusions that they can see or do anything. Insomnimaniac’s true intentions are unknown.

2. Sleep Deprivation for Fun and Profit

3. Mario is Jesus – A Spiritual Journey Through the Worlds of the Super Mario Brothers

4. Destroy All Art (Before You Begin)

5. Everything is Dead. Long Live Everything.

6. Ignorance is Not An Admissible

7. Creativity is Ridiculous

8. How I Quit My Job In Advertising to Sell This Book

9. Black Plastic Lightning

10. Asterisk*