Mow Better Blues

Today I needed to mow the county lawn. It really needed it. And if we don’t get on it and miss a few weekends, the the grass is too long to cut and we need to hire a tractor. So I got up early to cut up a few acres before breakfast. I topped up the oil on the first mower. Spilled it all over the place. Then the mower wouldn’t run when put in gear. The engine just died. I had to put it in neutral and try to push it out of the greenhouse (where we store them), but the arm got caught on the door. It took me a while to heave the heavy bastard out. It still wouldn’t start. So i topped up the oil on the second mower (yes we have two for this exact reason) and realized it needed gas too. This was in a shed up the hill. The gas can was full, and heavy, and of course I spilled gas everywhere filling up mower two. Then I realized I was missing keys. I looked all over, getting more as more frustrated. After an hour of this I gave up and went inside. My wife had the keys in her jacket pocket. I took them back down to the mower and then realized that practically all old mower keys are identical, and I could have used the keys from the first mower right from the start. Sigh.
I then started mowing. And mowing. And mowing. Acre after acre, until the sun looked too far down in the sky. When I was finished, my son was aghast. “Dad, you mowed ALL DAY!” it was true. It was 5:00 and I had only had my morning coffee. What’s the moral of the story? Not sure. Don’t have so much freakin’ land? Take breaks to eat so you don’t feel faint and grumpy all day? Don’t be a stubborn so-and-so? Anyway, the giant lawn has a haircut and won’t need trimming until next week. How the heck did the early pioneers manage? I just wish I knew small engines like I know computers…

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