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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-28

  • Today I write 5 performance reviews and then reward myself by visiting the dentist. #
  • Gawker pwns CP+B in this scathing post on BK’s continued market share erosion. Ad awards do not equal success. http://bit.ly/p5tqK #
  • “There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.” (via @greatheight) #
  • I think @local416 has a lot to learn about winning public support for strike. Saying “Feel the burn, Toronto.” and “Tough luck” won’t work. #
  • I think easy-listening soft-rock lo-talk ballad-blasting radio was created for tone-deaf hum-happy dental assistants. Seriously. #
  • Btw, I love my dental hygenist. I kid because I <3. #
  • It looks like @local416 as much as admitted they’re fake with their latest tweets. Had Toronto guessing for a while tho. #
  • Trying Times Reader 2.0, NYT AIR app. I can read it online too, but I like its familiar layout & added functionality. http://bit.ly/U9htG #
  • Dear @twitter, if I get any more “Fat loss for idiots” DMs this morning I’m going to go hang out with FriendFeed. #
  • Just had a great lunch with someone WHO’S NOT ON TWITTER!! (the horror, the horror). Hence, we had something left to talk about. #
  • Is there an uglier colour for a car than Metalic Salmon? #
  • Testing @dayna #
  • Testing @dayna’s new iPhone 3G S Compass feature. Love it. #
  • Reading @MattMason’s ebook: The Pirate’s Dilemma. Intro is quite good. Price: pay what you want. http://bit.ly/ubWyA #
  • More Augmented Reality, this time for trying on Zugara clothes. A little awkward, but interesting. (via @pierreseguin) http://bit.ly/NTssE #
  • Who would you pick to read your favourite children’s books? I want Sean Connery to read The Cat in the Hat to my son… http://bit.ly/6WPb0 #
  • Thanks @jonezy for the best song since Shatner’s Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds: Sean Connery “sings” In My Life http://songza.com/~92196x #

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 28, 2009 at 10:30 pm.
· Filed under 10 in 10 and tagged , .
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Celebrity Story Time: The Cat In The Hat

When I read books to my kids, I tend to over do it with the voice acting. I really get into the characters, and try to imbue each of them with a unique vocal signature. I channel my inner Mel Blanc, the man of 1000 voices who owned the sound of Saturday morning cartoons from my own childhood. One of my favourite books to read is the old classic, The Cat In The Hat. For some strange reason the Cat takes on a deep British accent. The Fish sounds whiny and bubbly. And the boy, our fearless narrator, sounds calm and determined. As I said, I’m pretty good with the voices, but I couldn’t help but wonder what this famous book would sound like if I could arrange a celebrity ensemble to back me up at story time. Who would I invite to present The Cat In The Hat to my 4yr old son in his tiny little bedroom? Well, I’m glad you asked:

The Cat In The Hat

The Cat: Sir Michael Caine (backup: Sean Connery)
The Cat needs to sound British— James Bond British. It’s so much funnier to hear him in a deep 007 voice, especially when he says, “Have no fear! Have no fear!”

The Fish

The Fish: Wallace Shawn (backup: NONE)
Wallace is perhaps best known for his magnum opus My Dinner with André, but he also happened to play the timid dinosaur Rex in Toy Story. He needs to use the voice of Vizzini, the patronizing self-proclaimed genius from The Princess Bride. You know— “Incontheivable!”

Sally

Sally:
There is no speaking part, but it would be cool if Cate Blanchett would just stand around looking smart and surprised. My kids would probably want to see Miley Cyrus instead, but I imagine Cate would be easier to get along with.

Thing 1 and Thing 2

Thing One / Thing Two: Tom Kenny (backup: Seth Rogen on helium.)
Tom is otherwise known as Spongebob Squarepants. This would make him the most famous star in the room, according to my son.

Your Mother

Mother: Sigourney Weaver (backup: Susan Sarandon)
This time instead of dealing with Mother as Ripley, Sigourney can be Mother.

Narrator

The Boy:
The fearless narrator would have to be someone earnest, young, and ‘normal’ sounding. My first pick is Jake Gyllenhal, followed closely by John Cusack. Did I say they had to be young? I refuse to pick Zac Efron, even if he does have very cool hair.

Who would your picks be? Please use the comments below.

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· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 25, 2009 at 12:00 am.
· Filed under Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-21

  • I finally found the social media aggregation application that I didn’t even know I was looking for: @feedalizr! http://bit.ly/rnae9 #
  • As I was singing a Radiohead song to myself, my daughter asked me if I was doing Alvin and the Chipmonks. *sigh* #
  • All is Full of Vodka - a quick post in response to Svedka’s Bot Creator, and how it is a robot redux of Bjork’s 97 video http://bit.ly/bo83r #
  • Someone actually said “Thanks, boy” to me on the streetcar. I don’t think she knows I’m 37. Shhhhhh… #
  • Optimus Primes Himself For Twitter http://bit.ly/whK9O #
  • Tomorrow I will download and test TweetDeck for iPhone. I will also upgrade to 3.0 software. But first zzzzzzzzzzs. #
  • Today I will pit Tweetie against TweetDeck on the iPhone. Who will win the little blue bird app smack down? #
  • RT @imjustcreative: Still no iPhone 3.0 Update availble on Apple website, but #imwatchingyou #
  • Transformed. Augmented Reality and the Autobots. Or How I Became Optimus Prime. http://jasontheodor.com/ #
  • OH @RogerGagnon say, “Just say no to Web 3.0″ <– couldn’t agree more. #
  • RT @nicholaspatten: iPhone 3.0 update is ready for you to download. http://bit.ly/iphone3update <– COME AND GET IT! #
  • I am backing up my iPhone before installing the 3.0 update. It doesn’t happen often, but I have been burned before. #
  • Kudos to @humantorch for the best (and longest?) hash tag ever: http://bit.ly/45PtfE #
  • Can u give ‘living’ tech, like web, version #s? I think using AGE is more appropriate. #web09 (@kalupa @cjpberry @ednapiranha @Maciek416) #
  • Today my 7yr old daughter has been asking everyone how to spell iCup, then laughing her head off. Evil genius in training. #
  • Did you know that Play-Doh was originally wallpaper cleaner & Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright’s son? http://bit.ly/aXmGT #
  • Wow. Bing has increased it’s ‘market’ share by over 4% in less than a month. http://bit.ly/kkeVn #
  • Recommended reading: @whitneyhess @cjpberry @stevemiller (not THAT Steve Miller) @Digitalinfant @CtinaClements @jonezy #followfriday #
  • It’s great to see #foodinc as a hash tag. Awareness is the first step to changing habits (i say as I finish a can of Coke) :-P #
  • RT @drelabre: i christen thee “bus train” RT @mayormiller: http://twitpic.com/7tjzm - The new Streetcar (LRV) … #
  • RX-78-2 Gundam Mobile Suite (aka GIANT ROBOT!) assembled in Japan 10 days ago. Amazing photos. http://bit.ly/EBJVU #
  • Larry Lars is my new Lego designer hero. Wish they actually had Aliens Lego set: Power Loader and APC shown. http://bit.ly/b4cok #
  • Google Profile: show off your social media acumen, tweak what is seen when your name is googled. Here’s mine: http://bit.ly/2VNm0 #
  • Daughter’s letter 2 tooth fairy: Why do you take teeth & what do you do with them? Why don’t you give them back? Do you have a tooth castle? #

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 21, 2009 at 10:30 pm.
· Filed under 10 in 10 and tagged , .
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Get Primed: Transform Yourself Into Optimus

optimus_studies_twitter

For the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, DreamWorks has commissioned a promotional website where you can transform yourself into Optimus Prime. The facial recognition and tracking works surprisingly well, and is fun to play around with for a laugh. If you click on the spinning autobot icon, Bumblebee will fly onto your printed AR marker and show you a new trailer.

Nintendo DSi Facial Recognition and Tracking

This 3D modeling looks a lot better than the Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000 graphics (see above left). The lighting and detail create a ‘closer to reality’ feeling than a lot of other AR wraps. This is due to the bright lighting from the front, as though the robot is lit from your computer screen. The tracking works way better than on the Nintendo DSi (see above right), which has a very hard time finding and resizing in real time. Once I had the ActiveX plugin loaded, the Optimus mask stayed with me (and on me) and rarely lagged.

This use of AR+facial tracking works to create buzz before a movie premier, but let’s take a quick 10 in 10™ to imagine how this technology could be used for other purposes:

  1. Costume websites let you try on masks before going to the store to buy/rent them.
  2. Cosmetics companies let’s you ‘paint’ your face with blush, rouge, eye shadow.
  3. Frame manufacturers give you different styles of glasses to model.
  4. H&M let’s you try on hats.
  5. An online ad for domestic abuse could show you a live picture of yourself with a black eye and a disturbing caption (no time to write it now).
  6. A plastic surgeon specializing in rhinoplasty could let you test noses. But they’d have to be bigger than the original to fit over your real nose, so never mind.
  7. You could play a ’stare down’ game to see how long you could stare at the screen without blinking
  8. In a similar vein, you could be challenged to a game of ’serious’ where you’re not allowed to laugh. The computer would show you funny pictures and scenes, and read your expression. If you smile you lose the game.
  9. Bedtime stories: you could do skits of famous fairy-tales over a webcam. Imagine mom or dad is away on business and can freak out their kids by turning into the big bad wolf. Okay, scratch that one too.
  10. Trying on different hair styles and colours would also be cool: an AR salon.

And my ten minutes are up. Can you think of any more? Leave them in the comments.

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· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 16, 2009 at 10:25 pm.
· Filed under 10 in 10, Marketing, Technology, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , .
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All Is Full Of Vodka: Sexy Robots Sell Spirits

Bjork's All is Full of Love
In what has to be the sexiest auto-erotic android make-out scene in music video history, director Chris Cunningham transforms Björk into a milky, plastic-fantastic fetishized robot for her single, All is Full of Love. The video is as stunning, disturbing, and original as it was when it debuted in 1998.

i_robotCunningham’s design inspired the look of the 2004 Will Smith vehicle I, Robot, albeit in a far less sexy, androgynous way. And now, over a decade later, Svedka is using Björk’s android look-a-like to sell vodka.

With the help of oddcast, they have designed a [sex]bot-builder that you can customize to fit your fantasy: fishnet stockings (including a real fishbowl torso), french maid uniforms, biker hats, red heels, and even decals (aka tattoos). The male version has biker vests, football shoulders, rocket packs, and a tux. You are encouraged to upload a face to personalized your creation. I chose to upload Björk’s face to see just how close the resemblance is to her video. You can see it better if you right click on the embedded flash version below and zoom in a few times (see image below).

all_is_full_of_vodka2

Build Your Own

While it is kind of fun (you can put your robot in UGGs), it feels like they only went half-way. The builder is clunky, there is no sound, and the robots don’t do much after they’re built (you can rotate them and poke them for a few canned movements). This would be way more fun with additional options to customize, and a follow through on the promise “Are You Bot or Not?” I was expecting to vote on other robot creations, and to throw my Björk-bot into the mix. But perhaps the most shocking of all of these things: no lead generation. I can explore, create, link, and save without once entering my email address. I don’t know if this is a stupid oversight, or a brilliant ploy for spamless credibility.

This campaign has made me aware of Svedka vodka. But even more importantly: it has reminded me that my childhood vision of robot maids is still a distant promise.

Rosie from The Jetsons

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· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 15, 2009 at 10:04 pm.
· Filed under Marketing, Observations, Technology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-14

  • I was so excited about http://TheAuteurs.com (streams alt-cinema movies) until I realized 90% of them aren’t available in Canada. Grrrr. #
  • Out of 2958 movies on TheAuteurs.com only 93(!!!) are available in Canada. That’s a whopping 3.1%. What’s the problem? #
  • Over zealous security at the AGO just asked me to step back from a painting. Kinda ruined the moment. #
  • Weird. My last tweet about the AGO was sent from my phone on SATURDAY AFTERNOON and just showed up now, over 48 hours later. #
  • The new iPhone 3G S (dumb name) has video and compass. Camera’s focus is cool. They went about half-way. There’s always next year… #
  • Open letter to the twitterverse: I don’t want to join your spy ring, get paid to ‘twitter away’, or see you naked. kthnxby #
  • Augmented Reality Goes Postal— or “does my head fit inside this box?” http://bit.ly/nYn7D <– from my blog #
  • Be distilled my beating heart: bacon flavoured vodka has arrived via @baconvodka. Great for your next meatup. http://bakonvodka.com #
  • Twitter has blocked my ability to follow anyone new until I get 363 more followers (which I can’t follow back yet). Grrrr. #
  • Amazing Canada vs USA vs Mexico stats at Mint.com: snapshot of North America http://tr.im/o3LU #
  • Can’t follow @twittergator because of the Twitter imposed max. But I’d like to… #
  • Jokes on me. @twittergator doesn’t exist. Try @twtr_gator. #
  • RT @marshallk:Aviary’s Talon: A Drool-Worthy Firefox Plug-in For Easy Image Editing http://bit.ly/wh0No #
  • RT @JustAskOmar: How to Invest Using the “New” Buy and Hold: An interview with PIMCO CEO Mohamed El-Erian. http://tinyurl.com/lpfdk4 #
  • RT @bohellberg still love all uniqlo work: http://www.uniqlo.com/calendar <– Me too! #
  • Speaking of tilt-shift time-lapse: my favourite teensy-weensy MONSTER TRUCK video by Keith Loutit: http://vimeo.com/2317118 #
  • Adults think of rain as damage & inconvenience. Kids think of rain as falling wet. What was your perspective before responsibility? #
  • Risking irrelevance, PC Magazine gives 13″ MacBook Pro Editor’s Choice Award. Link via @pmbaird: http://tinyurl.com/ng4xsr #
  • #FollowFriday Check out @jonconnelly @nathalily @mmakuch @rammyDen @RogerGagnon @carolinewho @paulhart @melissadavis @timmystafford @dayna #
  • Just got http://facebook.com/jasontheodor. They wouldn’t give me jted because of a 5char minimum. Grrrr. #
  • RT @chris24: Wow! — 200,000 @facebook usernames taken in 3 minutes, 500,000 over 15 minutes. That’s incredible. http://tr.im/olLW #
  • RT @briansolis: If you use flickr, you can now link your pix directly to Twitter - http://bit.ly/cXgoA <– what can’t you link to Twitter? #
  • Thanks @deliciousmonstr for adding an iPhone app to one of the coolest programs for mac: Delicious Library. http://delicious-monster.com/ #
  • Read this before upgrading to WordPress 2.8. I’m excited about syntax highlighting to mod themes easier. http://bit.ly/11DmWo #
  • “Chris Martin + Thom Yorke = Hugh Laurie” — BiniBinkus http://bit.ly/dTbQs <–LOL #
  • RT @chrisbrogan: RT @hypenoticbam: How Do You Deal With Trolls? Trent Reznor (NIN) Walks Away From Social Media http://is.gd/1138p #
  • I just spent the afternoon annotating about 100 slides from The Creative Method and Systems Workshop edition. Phew! #
  • I want to see Moon. It looks like classic paranoid sci-fi. And I’ve been a fan of Sam Rockwell since The Green Mile. #
  • Bought an iTunes Plus album & listening to it thru SRS iWOW plugin. There is so much more definition that it sounds like a different album. #
  • RT @gosandbox: My 3yr old is so small from a distance, but such a massive spirit when close. Realize our frames don’t tell the whole story. #
  • RT @cvchung Very cool augmented reality shooter… with Skittle Bombs! http://bit.ly/yTog8 #
  • I had no idea Ritz was compelled by fans in Canada to create a ‘real’ pop song. Still like the Coke one better. http://bit.ly/16xCwj #

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 14, 2009 at 10:30 pm.
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Augmented Reality Goes Postal

United States Postal Service Eagle Icon I never intended to turn this into an Augmented Reality blog, but there are so many creative ways people are starting to use this burgeoning technology. Many of them are experiments in artistic expression or marketing buzz, but some of them actually serve a practical purpose. In this case, printing out the United States Postal Service eagle icon and placing it in front of your webcam, allows you to see realistic, 3D virtual packages in actual-size. You can try it out for yourself in the Priority Mail Virtual Box Simulator.

postal1

Customers can choose from 4 different sizes (ranging from small to large) and then adjust the opacity of the box that appears using the Box Transparency slider. In the above picture I have chosen the Small Flat-Rate Box, which is supposed to be 8 and 5/8 inches long. It’s appears a little bit smaller than ‘actual size’, which you can tell because it isn’t as wide as the 8 and 1/2 inch paper I’m holding. It should actually be slightly wider than the paper.

postal2

What makes this truly useful, however, is the Persistent Box View which you can activate at the bottom left. Most augmented reality displays disappear when the target icon is covered. With the persistent view, the box will stay floating in mid-air when the eagle icon is removed, allowing a customer to hold up another item in its place. In this case I’m holding up a portable DVD player to see if it will fit into the Medium 1 box, and it appears as though it will quite comfortably.

Here Comes Jted's Head In A Box

Finally, with flashbacks of the movie se7en in my mind, I check to see if my head fits into the Large box. Sure enough, it does.

I don’t know if this is any more convenient than pulling out a tape measure, but it certainly looks cooler. And remember that these are still fledgeling ideas and applications. In a short time, when your mobile device is the augmented lens to view reality through, Priority Mail will have an app that will scan your images with a camera, tell you which box you’re going to need, how much it will cost, and where the nearest outlet is. Heck, it might even beam it directly to your destination.

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· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm.
· Filed under Marketing, Observations, Technology and tagged , .
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-07

  • RT @MsInformation: French Press is the closest thing I know to mainlining the bean… #
  • Read @dcurtis’s frustrated letter to AmericanAirlines: http://bit.ly/LpWaj and the UX designer’s response: http://bit.ly/14Hkdd #
  • In Your Space - some thoughts on the future of embedded augmented reality in personal content. http://bit.ly/JadIf #
  • Saw the Sherwin-Williams logo today. “Cover The Earth” with blood red paint just doesn’t work anymore. http://bit.ly/L245Y #
  • Borrow money from everybody. Never pay it back. That’s how you get rich and friendless. #
  • In 2008 GM spent $2 Billion+ on advertising. As of May 31st, 2009, GM still owes ad & marketing agencies $167 Million. http://bit.ly/14ccdv #
  • RT @JustAskOmar: Places to Eat Before You Die http://tinyurl.com/mxgx5y #
  • RT @stnmoon: RT @FlashDenNet: The Evolution of Cell Phone Design Between 1983-2009 http://bit.ly/15IvtO #
  • “Watch porn videos on Bing instead of going to a smutty website–an innovation other search engines have yet to offer.” http://bit.ly/wbW4V #
  • Refresh the auto-recognition speed-scanning filters in your Twitterbrain. I updated my avatar to a photo for enhanced realism. #
  • Interesting Augmented Reality music video. Music is meh, but messing with the physics of the hanging earth ball is fun. http://bit.ly/CcsvW #
  • Engaged. My kids experience Augmented Reality for the first time by holding the Starship Enterprise. http://bit.ly/sGCbw #
  • This taxi feels like a golf cart going 150 miles an hour (ie NOT GOOD). #
  • If you could find out exactly how many living spiders there were in your home right now, would you choose to know? #
  • My 4yr old son just pointed at a freckle on his leg and said, “This is a sting. A sting from the sun.” #
  • For some reason I love the term Wave Federation Protocol. You’re going to here a lot more about it later this year. http://bit.ly/P82t9 #
  • Steve Jobs is coming back to Apple after sick leave. I just realized I’ve been holding my breath for 6 months. http://bit.ly/108y2f #
  • Props to @danlight for co-creating http://experience-the-enterprise.com and then loving my kids’ reaction to it. http://bit.ly/J6giX #
  • Meeting room at @CriticalMass Toronto literally experiences critical mass. http://twitpic.com/6p9ok #
  • Man with a gun just got on the streetcar. It’s a rifle and in a case. Still weird to see in public. http://twitpic.com/6pblf #
  • I’ve been waiting for this, and just bought it: The Creative Whack Pack for iPhone. (via @Armano) http://bit.ly/KzLm3 #
  • “Microsoft is not about re-inventing the wheel, it’s about no wheel at all.” —Spielberg http://bit.ly/Fp1KE <- is that a GOOD thing?? #
  • Playing with a random 8-bit sound fx generator. Good clean retro fun. http://bit.ly/4RkiY #
  • In these Hard Times, @zefrank suggests that we “share each other’s holes.” Interesting concept. http://bit.ly/14py6a #
  • RT @chrisjf: Interview Project http://interviewproject.davidlynch.com <- these interviews are amazing and down to earth #
  • Off to the AGO and then an early dinner at Scaramouche with @dayna. #
  • Frederick Kiesler’s Correalistic Instrument 1942- a chair, table, and stand. http://twitpic.com/6rsxw #
  • Isamu Noguchi’s IN-70 Cloud Form sofa and footstool, 1948 http://twitpic.com/6rt6p #
  • Lawren S. Harris’ Baffin Island Mountains, c1931 http://twitpic.com/6ru53 #
  • Robert Fones’ Can.D.Man, 1971 http://twitpic.com/6ruzl #
  • Marion Lewis’s Dance Soap revisited 1973/2008 with @jted in the right monitor. http://twitpic.com/6rvag #
  • Change of scene: @dayna and I hit the Niagara Fallsview Casino. Parents’ night out! http://twitpic.com/6sxqv #
  • Niagara Falls view with coffee. #
  • A little product placement for @starbucks as we listen to the Niagara Falls and wait for the sun. http://twitpic.com/6ttnx #
  • All-day all-you-can-eat breakfast joints should be a constitutional right. #

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 7, 2009 at 10:30 pm.
· Filed under 10 in 10 and tagged , .
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Engaged. Kids Love Augmented Reality.

C-3PO and Chewbacca play Dejarik in Star Wars IV: A New Hope

R2-D2 and Chewbacca play Dejarik while C-3PO looks on, in Star Wars IV: A New Hope

One the strongest cinematic memories from my childhood is from Star Wars (surprise surprise). C-3Po R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing a type of holographic chess on the Millennium Falcon, passing the time as they speed through space. The game pieces move and interact with each other and— even cooler— they fight! I wanted one of these Dejarik sets, and dreamed of a time when holographic games and toys became a reality.

Judging by the last few months on the internet, that time is well on its way. Augmented Reality is set to bring those holographic moments to anyone with a computer and a webcam, or even a mobile phone. Last night I gave my kids a printout of the newest Star Trek poster and told them to hold it up to the computer screen (at Experience the Enterprise). I watched their surprised faces when, on screen, they were suddenly holding a diminutive replica of a three-dimensional spaceship. Both of them loved the experience, and immediately started testing it’s boundaries: how much could they bend the paper, how far away could they stand, how close could they bring the paper into the camera. It was amazing to watch them instinctively push the limits of the technology. My son kept looking at the computer and then back at the paper he was holding, trying to figure out why it was invisible in real life.

startrek_awe

Sebastian, Age 4, Experiences Augmented Reality for the First Time

They would have played with the USS-Enterprise for hours if I had let them, just like a brand new toy. This particular AR could fire torpedoes and phasers, and simulate flying at warp speed. How many other toys have that ability? It’s still a bit clunky and you really tire of holding a piece of paper up to a screen for a long time, but for a technology that is just begining to come out of its shell, it’s a wonderous experience.

I’m looking forward to the LucaArts AR gameboard that let’s me play Dejarik on my coffee table. Are you listening George?

Update: Here are a few more bonus pictures:

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 4, 2009 at 10:08 am.
· Filed under Marketing, Mythography, Observations and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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Tweetie for Twitter is the New Zippo

Twitter Zippo

When I was in University, I didn’t have a mobile phone, email, or internet access. Most people didn’t. There was no TXTing, no IMing, no poking people on Facebook, and certainly no twittering. The way you met new and interesting people was by smoking. I’m serious. If you wanted to become friends with random cool people, you’d make sure you had a well-fueled Zippo and you’d practice opening it SHINK, lighing it KTCHSH, and closing it KHLUP.

SHINK KTCHSH KHLUP. SHINK KTCHSH KHLUP. SHINK KTCHSH KHLUP

That sound was an advertisement to people within earshot that 1) you were a fellow smoker, 2) that you had fire, and 3) that you might even have an extra cigarette. “Hey, got a light?” was the opening line to many friendships and relationships.

How you lit your Zippo was part of your personality. Some people did it one handed, some people liked to snap their fingers over the flint to create the fire magically, and others could open and light their Zippos off their jeans in one fluid motion. The crazy ones would pour a bit of lighter fluid in the palm of their hands and let it go up in a short burst.

The design of the Zippo was another expression. There were lighters from headshops with skulls and pot leaves and Harley logos. Some were monogrammed, some were gold and ornate, and most were just plain stainless steel. But they all did the job of lighting a cigarette for a fellow addict in need and sparking conversation.

Today I don’t smoke. I have an iPhone with ubiquitous internet access, email, and unlimited texting. There’s a program for every flavour of instant messaging service. There’s a decent Facebook application. And then there’s the Twitter app Tweetie: the new Zippo lighter.

Let me explain: So today, instead of wanting to be friends with social malcontents who are trying to start grunge bands, I want to be friends with geeks. Geeks know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff, so there’s always something to learn or to talk about. And how do you break the ice with a cool geek? Easy. Get Tweetie for iPhone. Instead of walking up to a total stranger and asking “Got a light?” you say “Hey, aren’t you @[insert Twitter username here] who just tweeted about [insert topic here]? That was hillarious. I’m @jted.” Then you shake hands and the rest is history.

For example, at a recent Chuck Palahniuk reading in Toronto I was using Twitter to broadcast a few choice quotes from the author. Out of curiosity I used Tweetie to do a search for users also talking about Chuck. I was surprised to find 5 or 6 people in the audience broadcasting snippets of what Palahniuk was saying and what was happening in the room. A few of them had photographic avatars , and by tapping on them I could see a full-screen picture of their faces. After the show I recognized one of them talking to a group of friends. I thought it was crazy that Tweetie could transform a random stranger into someone I not only recognized, but shared a sense of humour with. I never did talk to the guy. But the point is that I could have. I was in a bit of a hurry that day…

Zippos have engraved images; Tweetie shows your avatar. Zippos smell like lighter fluid; Tweetie smells like a cheap iPhone application. Zippos attract smokers; Tweetie uses the built in GPS to find fellow Twitterers via the Nearby button. Zippos can be used for flaming parlour tricks; Tweetie’s Trends button can be used to read the collective mind of human consciousness. Now if only Tweetie could make that SHINK KTCHSH KHLUP sound…

· This entry was written by jted, posted on June 2, 2009 at 11:07 pm.
· Filed under Mythography, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , .
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